The Cockney Fuck You.

Earlier in this blog, I mentioned the Cockney Fuck You. It's a phrase that describes the English habit of stringing the words "Sorry" and "but" in quick succession, in order to get away with saying what amounts to "Fuck you".

e.g "Sorry luv, but that's not my problem, is it"

It's a curiously British trat to be rude and yet servile at the same time. Many cultures noted for their rudeness (The French, Native New Yorkers), at least have the saving grace of direct rudeness. If you upset them off, they tell you in a straight language.

The English don't do this.
They apologise first.
They want to tell you off, but they want to do it with impunity.
They want to do it without getting into trouble. A more cynical writer might suggest cowardice.

Perhaps.

Part of what makes up the British disposition is a peculiar bent towards unarticulated emotion. They try to swallow a lot of what they think, The British, what they feel and when they get upset. They try to push it down and pretend it isn't there, that nothing you can do or say can bother them. There are a multitude of reasons here; class, social norms, cultural identidy et al.

But the effect, in day to day Britain, is rather curdling. English people take offense fairly easily, but without a socially acceptable means for dealing with this, they tend to stew over things that don't warrant the intensity. A louder than normal iPod for instance or a . As a result, and in the plainest, most direct terms I can muster, English people walk around with a lot of shit in their heads.

The British stiff upper lip, (which helps compensate for the limp skeletal structure) is an outdated social mask, a disguise designed to camouflage offense. From outward appearance, an English Gentleman is unflappable, but in truth, you can upset an Englishman to the point of madness just by standing on the wrong side of the escalator.

And it's a dangerous practise. Without a socialy acceptable means for dealing with conflict, inevitable in this modern world, minor offences and irritations can quickly grow out of control.
The current state of violent youth related crime might well be a symptom of this. Though I'd hate to get stabbed for suggesting it.

The English won't ask you to turn your iPod down, nor will they hold the door open for you. It's two sides of the same coin. Rather than deal with conflict as it arrives, the English stew, plot, seethe and eventually enact their awful revenge by making it difficult for you to push past them on the escalator. Or serving your butter ice cold and then watching you struggle. You can say it's a petty system, but you cannot have systems without people to hold them up.

So they'll huff and puff and go red in the face, they'll rustle their newspapers into a frenzy, they'll tsk and roll their eyes and push past you when they get off trains.

And if their really, really pissed.
They'll apologise.

Strange creatures indeed.