Don't whistle on the elevator Brit.

Speaking with English people, I often find myself thinking of Willy Loman.
A man who used to have it, and is now desperately aware that he doesnt.

I read in the London Paper today, that the key difference between Americans and Britons is that while Americans are refreshingly upbeat, The English are reassuringly self deprecating.

Is this really true? Deprecating yes, but of themselves?
I think not.

Great British pride is a very fragile thing. Shake the spindly twigs that constitue the pillars of their national ego and they descend like a nest of wasps. They may tell you they're a humble lot, they may share some surface level character flaw, they may even talk about some minor, well established failling of British institutions.

But it is a facade.
Underneath this humblesness, British people yearn for Halcyon days, the glory of yesteryear, and have become increasingly bitter at the realisation that these times are over.

It manifests itself in the brittle brave face they put on when discussing their country with outsiders.

If you're English, you can hate the Tube, but woe betide any tourist bold enough to agree. The fact that it's expensive yet maintains a level of efficiency not seen since pre-soviet Russia, that it’s dirty with soot, that many of the tunnels feature exposed electrical cables so numerous they resemble the exploding scene from an episode of 1970’s Dr Who can only be uttered by a local. Agree with them, and you're only asking for a lecture on the manifold unseen appreciations of British Rail Staff, the triumphs of British innovation and a few, probably made up travel stories, just to show what you're missing out on. (I would like to go on record as saying The British Rail staff are without peer).

If you're British, you can talk about how terrible the weather is. But if you're a tourist and you agree, prepare yourself for the scorpian's tail of wounded national pride.

"It does get a bit dark in the winter yeah. ’Course you've got hurricanes like what they had in New Orleans, so it's not all bad".
"I'm from New York"
"Yeah, well, even worse. Black gangs"
"Like Hackney?"
"Hackney's not that bad"

And there are countless other no-go subjects for tourists. The Class System, getting bailed out of World Wars 1 and 2, their international reputation as average lovers. I think the English like to think of themselves as self deprecating. But the truth is, it's just something they like to say.

They won the War.
They won the World Cup.
This is the greatest nation on earth.

But deep down, I think they know the truth. That the glory days are over. That the empire is in decline. And that for all their public posturing, for all of the cosy reassurance that Britain is still great, the truth is, this isn't a very nice place at all.

I don't believe the key to our transatlantic differences lies in our abundance or lack of optimism, nor do I think it's in our default national attitude.

I think what seperates England from America is the sobre realisation that America's glass is half full. That our people are happy, our future bright and our place in the world secured. Conversly, England's cup is running dry, their nation has become a pale shade of what it used to be and the people have grown bitter swallowing the dregs of a former Empire now crumbling to dust.

God Bless America.