Britain's Vital Statistics

Let’s paint by numbers.

#1 Fattest women in Europe1.
# 2 Ugliest women on earth2.
# 1 Users of internet pornography3.
#2 Fattest men in Europe1.
# 1 most unsatisfying lovers4.
1 in 3 men have not had sex in the past twelve months or more4
1 in 5 men still living at home with parents at age 285.

So we can deduce from these figures, that England is a nation of people struggling with obesity, harnessed by genetics to a yoke of unsightly physical features, denied intimacy by fear of social embarrassment and unable to escape the suffocating immaturity of living in the family nest.

Or that they’re all fat, ugly wankers.
It’s your call.

References
1 EU Office of Statistics. Obesity rates in Europe. 2006
2 Global survey. FHM magazine. 2005
3 Nielsen’s Net Ratings. 2006
4 Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 2006
5 Government Statistics reported in The Independent on Sunday 2006

P.S Oh and yeah, we do have the fattest women.
But at least the thin ones ain’t so ugly we're too scared to leave the house.