The English Lion is not an acurate portrayal

The British Lion? Really. You think the Lion best sums up The English nation? The ugly fat chick of Europe. A country of ageing virgins. And you want the lion?

Really?

It's high time a new mascot was found for Britain and the noble lion put back on the market for better representation. It belongs on the crest of a brave country, a firece country a country whose mighty roar frightens the world. Not one whose twittering yelp and limp dick belong in a retirement home.

So, a referendum. I propose the following animals as mascots for England. Each choice seems to reflect an accurate portrayel of the people of this cesspit,
this shithole,
this anal sore,
this ENGLAND.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Notes.

The Worm: Worms eat shit. They have no chin and reporduce without having sex. An ideal representative of the people of Britain

The Toad: Noone wants to touch them and if you do you'll get warts. Ditto.

The Pig: They live in a shithole, they eat crap, they're fat and ugly and you will actually find a lot of women in England look like pigs. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Old Blighty didn't start referring to their new mascot as The British Woman.

The Wembley: A Wembley is the small droplet of urine that adorns the seat of every men's rooms toilet.

The microorchdist: is a medical term referring to someone with abnormally small testicals. In essence someone without balls.

The Wet Patch: It's wet, uncomfortable, ugly and embarrassing. (I should point out this particular wet patch refers to the Nocturnal Urination type and not the sex type, but then when would an Englishman ever see a wet patch that arose from sex? Jism stuck magazine pages yes, but a wet patch? Only if it leaked out of their ass)